A Thief in the Night

My days are spent from sunup until sundown with 3 kids buzzing about me. In the whirlwind that is My Chaos, it isn’t until evening that I am met with silence and the tick of the clock. Half of the time my head hits the pillow and I snuggle in to the solitude of being alone, relishing in the fact that I have my own space, to myself.

Yet on those nights when slumber doesn’t come so easily, my mind races restlessly on the days past. Maybe it’s the strangeness of being alone, or maybe I just need the comforts of a familiar but whatever the cause, it’s those nights when I bring one of my kids to sleep with me.

Backwards isn’t it?

As parents we all know that noise in the night that makes us open an eye to see a little at bedside, “Can I sleep with you?”. I can’t complain though, my kids are great solo sleepers, and maybe that’s why I don’t think twice to accept this request when the odd time that it does happen.

And, I know as well as anyone how much parents plead, cry and beg for sleep. So, yes, it’s odd that just when I finally get solid and full nights sleep to myself and my personal space is mine, I then beg for the interruption from a child.

Just last night I had turned off the light and before falling asleep, I heard Sophia open her door and walk to the bathroom {and yes, I can tell which child is it just by the way they open their door}.
I jumped out of bed to help her, yet as she was staggering back to her room, I gently led her toward my room, “Wanna sleep with Mommy?”

It’s this time with just one of my children that I love the most. Being able to concentrate on just her, without the hustle of the day {and her sisters} in the way. Brushing her hair from her forehead and kissing her cheek softly, the scent that is only her is so peaceful. Even beyond the stage of ‘baby’, I never get tired of watching my children sleep. Memorizing her every feature, I think of her personality, imagine her future and try to eavesdrop on her dreams.

Maybe it’s my time to make peace with not giving her my 100% attention in the day, a time to soften the mommy guilt and make way for new guilt trips tomorrow. I wake up in the morning and they are always gone, funny that they always go back to their own beds some time in the night, they like their own space more than I do apparently!?

Like a thief in the night, I steal my own children from their beds.

I’m pretty sure one day when they are older, we may have to get a cat or dog.
Is this what empty-nest feels like?




  1. I guess you miss hubby. Although, sleeping with one of thoses little sweeties would be alw ays special. Glad you and Sophia had some close time together. She will treasure that as she gets older.

  2. Such a sweet post!!! I understand wanting to hold onto their babyhood. They grow up WAY too fast, yet a part of me enjoys seeing them become more independent as well.

    I kiss Isaak’s cheeks often. Even though he’s almost 4, they still have baby fluff. His hair is still fairly fine. He’s a big boy in many ways, but a baby in others.

    I’m with you about wanting them to sleep with me once in a blue moon. My husband works long hours. When my husband comes home he can’t stand having a child in our bed. I’ve jumped up into Isaak’s bed before and he tells me, “Mommy this is my bed! Leave! Get off of here!” It’s a loss. I can sometimes see the benefits of co-sleeping, but not every night.

    1. Agreed, Alissa. not every night, but it’s nice to be able to hold onto the ‘baby’ for as long as we can. Even my oldest, so much innocence and peace when she sleeps – love it!

  3. So sweet. I love sharing a bed with my little guy. Listening to his breathing, smelling his sweet warm breath. He looks like such an angel. It is a very special shared time

    1. so happy to have others agree with my obsession! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one!

  4. I can see that happening Tammi… I suppose it can be a bit lonely night after night. I love watching Princess sleep as well… so peaceful.

  5. I do the same thing when left alone at night. You get to where you need the solitude and when you have it, have no idea what to do with it and want your little one close. I love to watch mine sleep or curl up with her sometimes. Very sweet post.

  6. I kind of enjoy those rare night when one of the kids is feeling under the weather and I “have” to snuggle with them for awhile. They seem so sweet and it’s so cozy…my sweet little babies for a moment.

  7. Totally understand. My husband works out of town a lot. Our son just got over a cold 3 weeks ago, today I got a call from the school to pick him up – sick again. It is rough, wish we could take the pain away from them. So starting tonight another possible 5 night stretch of watching, stroking his hair and helping him settle into dreamland. Even moments as such are cherished – these little blessings from God. Proud to be a Mother – proud to be “Mom”. Sleep easy tonight little buddy…..God bless your little bundles.

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